


Little Bitemares

by La_Borobon



Category: Little Nightmares (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29820003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Borobon/pseuds/La_Borobon
Summary: What if the characters of Little Nightmares took part in a cooking show? Then you get a wonderful show called "Little Bitemares".
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	1. Lullapie

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very short story that's meant for a quick read to make you laugh and smile.  
> It also contains slight spoilers for Little Nightmares and Little Nightmares II.

"Ladies and gentlefreaks-- I mean gentlemonsters! Kids and nomes! We welcome you to the first episode of this BRAND NEW cooking show, hosted here in the lovely kitchen provided greasily-- I mean graciously by The Twin Chefs. I'm your host Mono. Joining me as this show's first guest and chef; you all know her; she's yellow and small and warm the hearts of all! Please welcome SIX!"

Taking little steps, Six whose carrying a light brown sack over her shoulder, climbs upon the kitchen table where she takes her position next to Mono. She puts her sack down beside herself. 

"Please introduce yourself". With brief hesitation, bumping her index fingers together showing her nerves, she timidly gives an introduction.

"H-hello... I-- I guess people call me 'Six' so that is my name".

"Welcome Six; and what will you be cooking for us and The Viewers at home or in the streets?"

"My own recipe called Lullapie".

"Oh! an original dish. Why is it called Lullapie exactly?" he inquires. Her nervousness still persisting, she gives an explanation. "Ah...well...it's a pie that helps you fall asleep hence the name being a combination of 'lullaby' and 'pie'". The audience on set give a satisfactory "OOH" as a response.

"Next could you please walk us through on how your dish is prepared". At his request, she retrieves a pie from her sack where she sets it down. Then she retrieves a music box as well, placing it by the pie. "Um Six. Why is there an already cooked pie and especially a music box?" Mono asks in bewilderment. To answer his question, she does a demonstration by inserting the music box into the pie.

"There... Lullapie" she says with an accomplished look. She was proud of her creation. Those nerves of hers were now replaced with confidence. Mono on the other hand had a completely different view: One of great disappointment in her lack of understanding.

"So are we meant to eat this pie while the music box plays?" 

"Not play! but eat. Eat it, then its gentle music will be inside your head forever. No more sleepless nights. Just play this lullaby with a thought". The answer Six gave shocked Mono considerably that his light brown paper bag mask crinkled from involuntary use of his power. 

"I-- Well... Let's ask the audience for their outlook on this...unique recipe. We'll start with The Lady".

"I already have my own lullaby". 

"Chefs?"

""His snoring is enough noise for my head!!"" The Twin Chefs answer at the same time with the same response.

"Me-- I mean The Thin Man?"

"Bewildered just like you".

"Finally The Janitor?"

"You can call me Roger. Soothing sounds bring me great joy and I've been having trouble sleeping. I would love to try this Lullapie for my own benefit". _Someone seriously wants to consume a music box!!! It's not even a proper dish but a music box surrounded by pie,_ Mono thought in even more shock than before.

Growl. 

_Oh no! That sound can only mean one thing..._ He looks back at Six and notices her staring into the crowd, drool constantly dripping. Following the direction of her gaze, he finds her eyes locked onto a single Nome. She was salivating at the sight of this Nome.

Growl.

With one more growl from the depths of her stomach, Six sprints towards the Nome and pounces on it and bites into it ferociously.

NOM 

"H-hey Six!... You can't just start eating the nomes. You'll scare the other nomes". Mono runs after her then musters all his strength to pull her off, as the Nome along with its brethren flee for safety. "Aww but they are so delicious" she mumbles disheartened while looking down with a sullen expression. He swiftly brings Six off the set (the kitchen) for a heart-to-heart. 

"Six we've talked about this. No more eating nomes, or anyone for that matter again. You've already eaten enough nomes this week before the show. I created this cooking show mainly to try and help you satiate your hunger with actual food. We'll try again next week okay?" He pats her pack with a warm smile for encouragement to let her know despite his harsh advice, he does not think of her as a monster.

"I'll try--for you--but no promises". He replies "Thank you". They return to their positions on set. 

"Ahem. Apologies for that little nightmare-like event. It was all part of the show. Just a scare. Did we trick you? Well that is all we have for this week's episode of Little Bitemares. I decided to end today's episode with the title reveal to end on a high note. Stay tuned next week where our second special guest will be the lovely Lady. Until then, goodbye".

Mono and Six wave at the camera then the feed cuts. 


	2. Runaway Sausage

"Ladies and gentlemonsters! Kids and nomes! Welcome to another episode of Little Bitemares. I'm your host once again, Mono. Joining me as this show's second guest and chef; a gracious beauty with a lullaby that will melt your earbuds; please welcome THE LADY!" 

As if she were a cloud, The Lady floats into position behind the kitchen table, taking an upright posture. "Please introduce yourself".

"Is that really necessary?" she doubts. "Positive I am that all on The Maw and even those not aboard know who I am" she vaunts. 

"It's just formality" he reassures. 

"Very well. I am the gracious proprietress of The Maw known as The Lady, The Geisha, or The Governess --- though that last nickname is not a veracious description of my occupation".

"It is my honour to have the very woman who oversees this place as a guest. What kind of recipe will such an esteemed guest as yourself present before us I wonder!" 

"Runaway Sausage". 

_Oh no... Will this be chaotic like last time?_ Mono inquires to himself. He checks for anything that can contain ingredients or 'ingredients' on her and near her but finds nothing. _Where are her ingredients then?_

"I assume an original recipe. Am I right?" The Lady nods her head as confirmation. She suddenly pulls out a Nome from under her kimono. "What's that Nome for?" Mono quizzically inquires. The Nome in question is quivering in fear due to being The Lady's unwilling assistant. 

"This Nome is the sausage," she says as she caresses its head. "As for the name of my dish--well--similar to The Runaway Kid it gets punished: for running away by being transformed into a sausage then eaten. Hence the name Runaway Sausage: as a reference to that kid who offered a sausage for Six to eat but instead got eaten himself. I laugh every time I remember his fate".

"Its what!" Mono yells flabbergasted. 

"Oh don't be so shocked. I'll have you know from research that nomes are an excellent delicacy. For preparation you simply need to throw this Nome; well any Nome into boiling water, wait approximately six minutes, then you'll have an ingredient similar to sausage as I've heard they taste like them".  
  
Growl.

Six's hunger activates thanks to The Lady's recipe. "See they are delicious!" Six comments as a counter argument to her heart-to-heart with Mono last week, jotting down The Lady's recipe with great interest.   
  
"Why thank you. I'm sure this Nome will be just as delicious as the first one you ate".

"Hey I'm right here you granny geisha!" The Runaway Kid vehemently protests from the audience. The Lady in anger at his insult, immediately transforms him into a Nome (again) where he scurries out the kitchen. 

Six pursues (hunts) him with a sharp glint flashing in each each eye, salivating once again.

"COME BACK! MY DINNER" she cries out as her voice is heard distantly. "SIX!" Mono shouts feeling dejected --- _I'm never warning her again since it seems I cannot vanquish the monster within._

"Now, now, my Lady. I have to remind you that live ingredients are not permitted in this kitchen" Mono warns. Despite his warning she starts preparing her 'dish' by attempting to place the Nome in a saucepan after igniting the hob under it, which is quickly prevented by him kicking the saucepan off the hob. The Lady points at him where in an annoyed tone replies. 

"I only came on as a guest--which is ironic as I own this kitchen--to show off an easy recipe as a sign of gratitude, and now you've ruined my chance at that and have humiliated me". 

With telekinesis, she raises the saucepan where she then flings it at him. Mono ducks in time before it could cause injury. Due to being distracted, her grip on the Nome weakens and it escapes her clutch, scurrying into a vent. 

"Hmph!" 

With just a sound displaying annoyance, she teleports away. "That was... interesting. We'll leave it at that. As we have come to the end of today's episode. Despite such chaos, I ask you our dear audience in giving this show another chance. Next week's guest will be The Thin Man so until then, farewell".

At his farewell the camera feed cuts. 


	3. Time Loops

"Ladies and gentlefreaks ( _Well...one certain lady is not here anymore_ )! Kids and nomes _(minus one kid_ now)! If you would believe, this show is still popular despite last episode's chaos. The Lady has a 'lively' personality to say the least, and taking her place in this week's episode is The Thin Man!" _I should be called 'The Tall Man' really._

"OW!" a voice yells out that matches a towering man of thin proportion, adorned in a dark bluish-grey hat and suit. It was The Thin Man who had just bumped his head on the ceiling. With his head being kept lowered, he walks slowly with a box in hand towards the table, proceeding in seating himself (as it would be uncomfortable to stay standing) then placing his box upon it.

[Meanwhile, The Lady who is watching from her quarters comments out loud to herself, "He's so handsome" while holding her mask in a way that displays her attraction to him.]

Before Mono can ask his usual request for an introduction, The Thin Man goes straight into it, "I am The Thin Man and this is Mono. He is me, and I am him. The Pale City I hail from where I run my own Television show called Monochromosome: Because The Viewers end up with only ONE chromosome as they watch".

"I don't think that's an appropriate thing to--… Never mind. So what is your recipe going to be?", The Thin Man holds up the box for presentation. 

"Time Loops. A healthy--"

"He's lying I bet", Mono mutters; The Thin Man gives him a look of annoyance for interrupting him with an exposing comment.

"--cereal that never runs out!" 

"Never runs out?"

"That's right! I have applied my power to the bag in the box that contains the cereal, so it returns back to the time all of it was there and does so on repeat. Hence the name Time Loops. I shall give a demonstration". He empties the bag of all its cereal and after a minute, the cereal that was gone had returned!

["AMAZING! If he had love for me I hope it would never run out too" The Lady says with thoughts of bliss.]

"Wow. This is most definitely a cereal to die for" _And people would kill for it._

Feeling hesitant questioning its ingredients, Mono finds courage to ask, "Ingredients of these loops? No nomes or other questionable things?"  
  
Reassuring him The Thin Man replies, "None at all. Just some flesh from The Flesh Walls... Maybe an eyeball or two as well".

"Oh that's a relie--... FLESH!? EYEBALLS!? THOSE ARE PRECISELY QUESTIONABLE INGREDIENTS YOU SKINNY GEEZER!!" Mono insults after hearing such a daring lie.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU!" The Thin Man retorts feeling disrepected. "I AM AN EXEMPLARY GENTLEMAN! who only knows nothing BUT the finest ingredients".

"Exemplary gentleman!? More like exemplary fool" Mono retorts back wittily.  
  
"For your blatant disrespect don't think I won't fight you" The Thin Man challenges.

"Come on let's fight! Mono a Mono!" Mono accepts the challenge. "What are you going to do little paper boy. Digitalise me to death!?" Mono smirks at The Thin Man's remark, putting his hand forward. 

"Wait, no. Please. Not again. AGHHHHHHHH" The Thin mans screams as once again he is defeated by his stronger, younger self --- disappearing like digital particles fading away, but not before quickly putting his right hand forward though nothing seemed to happen. Mono's use of his power however, caused the camera feed to cut out. 

Hmm no outro this time around. I'm sure it will be fine, just as he was thinking that, he suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu. He was back in time to before he was about to introduce the third episode. Mono realised then, that The Thin Mad had caused him to be stuck in a time loop before his demise.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

[At his demise, The Lady sits in a silence that could deafen out all sound of the world. Then a small crack appears on her mask.. and another.. then another. A monster like no other was escaping its cage within her. She gets up from her chair where in a roaring voice says, "THAT SON OF A BITCH".]

As Mono prepares to go through hell...

BANG!  
  
The kitchen door suddenly opens with speed and force and The Lady comes floating in at the same speed, her hands in a grabbing position that aim toward Mono. Just barely does he manage to evade her plucking him like a vegetable.

"YOU. KILLED. MY. FUTURE. HUSBAND", she says in a creepy monotone voice while pointing down at him. Evading each attempt to capture him atop the table, he starts becoming exhausted and due to a slight delay, he is unable to evade again and is caught red-handed. 

"YOU. WILL. DIE. AS. JUSTICE.FOR.HIM". She wraps her slender fingers around his throat and is about to squeeze when he starts begging for his life. 

"WAAAIT. Wait wait wait. I'm The Thin Man! ME! Remember that he said 'He is me, and I am him'?" The Lady pauses to think, calming down a little.  
  
"Hmm that's right, he did say that".

"So in the future I will become Him. If you kill me, there will be no Him AKA Me", at his explanation she releases her fingers and then suddenly hugs him while joyously yelling "OH THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS! MY HUSBAND IS SAFE! COME WE HAVE LOTS TO TALK ABOUT" and with that unexpected turnaround she kidnaps (?) him and returns to her quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mono a Mono is a pun on Mano a Mano using his name and it also cleverly means he is fighting himself


End file.
